syren: hi, my name is syren elri of neemadell. i’m here today with mia roubleau and we are going to talk about earth in the year 2016. hi!

mia: hi, how are you?

syren: good, how are you?

mia: i’m doing good.

syren: so, mia and i both live on neemadell and we are friends. and, yeah, i just wanted to talk with you today a little bit about your experiences as a human being. so, uh, what was earth like in 2016?

mia: um, 2016 was a rough year for humans.

syren: in what way?

mia: um, there was a lot of like, racial tension. and this was the year we elected our president… who was donald trump. 

syren: can you tell them who donald trump is?

mia: oh, donald trump is this rich, white businessman who is kind of a reality tv star too, who we elected as our president.

syren: did he have a lot of political experience?

mia: no political experience. he was like, the first president ever to not have any type of political background. 

syren: why would you do that?

mia: we don’t even… nobody knows.

syren: what kind of things was he… like, what was his platform? 

mia: he was like, very racist. i think that’s kind of what his platform was. 

syren: yeah. 

mia: yeah, i guess… yeah that was his platform.

syren: if racism can be your platform.

mia: um yeah, he was just basically trying to get the racist vote because there’s a lot of racist people in america. cuz we had a black president for 8 years so a lot of people were saying it was like a “whitelash”.

syren: can you talk a little bit about racism, for them?

mia: oh, um, so for… the people back at… home watching this?

syren: yeah. neemadell.

mia: they don’t know about race on neemadell... they don’t know about racism right?

syren: i know, obviously, because i’ve been studying human behavior for years and years, but um, yeah a lot of people don’t really understand, i mean, even myself, it’s a little bit confusing, just because we don’t really discriminate against other people on my planet. so yeah, can you just talk a little about that?

mia: um, so racism on earth has been going on for a really long time. there were slaves in america. that’s what america was kind of built off of. 

syren: where did they get the slaves?

mia: africa.

syren: and how did they get them to america?

mia: they put them on chips. did i say chips? they put them on SHIPS in like, um, in like handcuffs. and they would bind their feet and just put them on the ships, some didn’t even make it to america, because they didn’t really feed them either, so.

syren: and that was a few hundred years before you were born right?

mia: yes, so, imagine that and then being a black person in modern day, like 2016. it was not good. not a good feeling, being a person of color.

syren: yeah. and were there a lot of…hate crimes against your people?

mia: um, yeah there were a lot of hate crimes, towards a lot of minorities but it was mostly directed towards black people. and a lot of people got away with it, especially people in power, like cops.

syren: um, did you like living in america?

mia: yes and no… um…

syren: what were some good things about it? because i feel like we’ve been talking a lot about the horrible stuff.

mia: i mean, it was kind of like a melting pot and it was like very diverse and, i don’t know, i guess it kind of depended on where you lived in america. i lived in california so there was a nice little mix.

syren: what else went on in 2016? besides donald trump being the president.

mia: oh, there was good music. a lot of albums.

syren: like who?

mia: solange, number one. kanye west, alicia keys, drake, young thug, travis scott, a tribe called quest.

syren: and beyoncé right?

mia: BEYONCÉ. legend.

syren: iconic.

mia: iconic. as the humans would say.

syren: um, yeah, i’m trying to pick up a little bit of their slang. iconic.

mia: iconic. 

syren: do you like living on neemadell?

mia: yeah, i love it on neemadell. there’s no racism, a lot of good food.

syren: that’s very true. yeah, on earth they had capitalism, which is like really horrible. um, it basically meant that if you weren’t born into having a lot of money, you had to work your entire life to stay poor. but um, we don’t really have that on neemadell. yeah, it was just this really horrible earth thing that we don’t really understand to this day.

mia: a lot of humans on earth didn’t understand it either. 

syren: it wasn’t really a system of government that made any type of sense. so you’ve been on neemadell for four year now, yeah? 

mia: sorry, i was parched. yes, for four years. 

syren: and how did you react to the news that you were a hologram?

mia: i was actually kind of happy.

syren: in what way?

mia: cuz i could choose whether i wanted to be on earth or not. so, i was kind of sad but also like, happy. but, yeah. i wasn’t really… i mean, earth kind of felt shitty anyways so i thought why not just leave earth?

syren: mhm. did your family come with you to neemadell?

mia: most of them. some of them were just like “oh no”, cuz they were just like… stuck on the fact that they weren’t “real”. they were like, “okay so just terminate us”.

syren: i think like, most of the human beings decided to terminate their programs which… i still, it’s really sad to me that they chose to end their life. alright, well, uh, do you have any questions for me?

mia: are you married?

syren: no.

mia: no?

syren: no.

mia: any family?

syren: yeah, i mean, i have a pretty large family. lots of siblings. 

mia: so… would you be able to have kids with a hologram?

syren: i think probably what we would do would be we would have the child be a hologram as well because like, obviously you can’t really mix actual dna of a solid being with holographic dna. um, but yeah so probably we could program a child with like, features of both parents and, you know, have it just grow up. but yeah, i don’t see why not.

mia: nice.

syren: alright, well, uh, thank you for your time. and again, i’m syren elri and this is mia roubleau and we’ll see you next time. bye!